On Love and the Families We Build

Everyone seems to be getting married. I'm over here taking notes.

Toeheads,

I’m starting this newsletter with a topic about love. I’m currently reading One Day Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This. The author is Egyptian-Canadian-American; I’m Filipino-African-American.

As a 31-year-old turning 32 this Sunday (May 31st!), the book has me thinking about love and what kind of family I want to have.

Being raised by immigrant parents has been such a blessing. They taught me the value of resourcefulness, discipline, and resilience. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the sacrifices families make for one another—whether it’s helping the next generation succeed, supporting a loved one through difficult times, or building the trust and loyalty that often become the foundation of lifelong friendships. Those lessons have shaped how I think about love, commitment, and the kind of family I hope to build someday.

Growing up as an immigrant, it really wasn’t something I thought much about as a child. Now, all of a sudden, it seems like everyone around me is getting married. I had lunch with a friend yesterday (I’m writing this on Tuesday), and she’s getting married next year to her college sweetheart.

They say most men meet the person they’ll eventually marry by age twenty-five and that the average age of marriage is about twenty-nine for men and twenty-seven for women. I’m assuming that’s based on heterosexual marriages since we have more long-term data.

This pillow was made to carry my sister's precious rings for her big day.

I’m no wedding planner, but I did plan my sister’s destination wedding in Costa Rica, and I enjoy helping friends who need advice on colors, themes, and design decisions. My friend has been planning her wedding for a couple of months now and finally secured a church for the ceremony. Any task you can check off while planning a wedding is a huge accomplishment!

Recently, she was struggling to choose colors for the mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom dresses. Her mom insisted on burgundy, while the groom’s mom wanted dark green. I gave her my opinion and said that if they already have a vision for what they want to wear—and those choices still work within the wedding palette—it’s probably best to trust the instincts of the seasoned women on this one.

Since choosing a lifelong partner is such an important decision, it’s something I thought I would have accomplished by now. In my twenties, I mostly dated for fun, hoping a fling would turn into something serious, eventually leading to me getting down on one knee. It hasn’t worked out that way so far.

This summer, I’m fortunate enough to be attending three weddings.

I love weddings—the symbolism, two people committing to one another, two families coming together, and the possibility of that family growing even larger. I love the family stories that surface, the drama revealed through the chatter of guests, the amazing food and drinks, and, of course, the dance floor. Other than the speeches, that’s where I really have my moment.

The Divide Cushion | Handcrafted Lumbar Pillow | 14" x 24"

$99.99$84.99

Buy Now

As a working artist and rising designer, I like to give newlyweds a pair of pillows from Harry’s Room. I choose designs that are neutral and timeless—something that can work with almost any interior style or serve as a foundation they can build upon over the years.

To me, a pillow symbolizes a strong foundation, a soft landing on difficult days, and a place to rest together after a long one.

If you’re attending a wedding this summer and looking for a thoughtful gift, consider the Divide Pillow from Harry’s Room. Or, if you need a dress or suit altered for an upcoming celebration, check out our Alterations and Tailoring services.